The master bedroom is downstairs and this sincerely may be the only reason I don’t weigh much more than I do. Ingesting 14 cookies just before bed should deposit copious amounts of fat right on my rump, but The Siren is really good at wailing after midnight. Maybe I should just move upstairs and sleep in the guest room so I don’t have to climb the stairs twenty times, but then I would have to buy new and much larger pants. Oh, and I love my bedroom, painted one shade lighter than a cave: cozy, calm and safe. So each night I lie in bed and pray I will sleep, climb the stairs to subdue The Siren, return to bed and pray I will sleep. Rinse and repeat. If you were jealous of me in any way, now is a good time to cut that out.
(For those wishing to give expert advice in sleep habits of children, The Siren does not stop crying. Once in full out scream mode, she will not stop. I can’t sleep through her screaming and neither, it seems can The Kraken. Once up, The Kraken is going going going. Since I’m not sleeping anyway, I choose to comfort my daughter, avoid my son’s relentless energy for a few more hours and steal a few extra snuggles. Those will run out way too soon anyway.)
For whatever reason I am a champion sleeper from 6:30am until about 10am. Because The Kraken wakes much earlier, this is usually a nonissue. My little cherub is fighting a cold that caused his little body to oversleep right into my dead to the world sleep window. I didn’t hear the thump as he jumped out of bed. I didn’t hear the pitter patter of his feet on the stairs or through the kitchen. In fact, I felt him long before I heard him. I awoke to a little hand rubbing my head and brushing the hair from my face. Then I heard him, “Oh, there’s my sweetheart. There’s my sweetheart.” I hugged him and told him good morning. He replied, “I’m not The Kraken, I am Anakin. There’s my sweetheart, Princess Leia.” No matter how strange it may sound, that is really quite a nice way to wake up. Or perhaps I am just a kinder more pleasant person after 7am. I did what I normally do in the morning, I sent him away to check on his sister so I could pee in peace.
Over the monitor I heard, “Oh, Padme, there’s my little sweetheart.” The Siren, aka Padme, didn’t scream or slap him, which must mean she is a kinder more pleasant person after 7am as well. She simply laughed and said, “Anakin, get me outta here!”
