My children and I enjoy Yo Gabba Gabba. The offspring get sucked into the psychedelic colors and odd songs just long enough for me to create a delightful taste explosion for dinner. One of the very few things I actually understand during this acid trip of a child’s program, occurs as a child introduces themselves followed by, “I like to dance!” This has made a great impression on my daughter. I simply say “My name is The Siren!” and she replies from anywhere in the house, “I like to dance!” Cute and quite a convenient way to locate her, I must admit.
The Kraken has decided, as is his way, to up the ante. When asked his name he will shout, “My name is The Kraken! I like to dance and . . . dress up!” We don’t yet have a very extensive dress up box, mostly used Halloween costumes: A couple superheroes, a bumblebee, a police officer and a red riding hood cloak. The latter was knitted by my talented sister for The Siren’s first birthday and comes complete with ruffle trimmed hood. The Kraken now considers this item to be the most special as it aides in morphing him into his newly chosen persona. This little red riding hood has found new life as Anakin Skywalker’s sweater cape, and it very rarely ever leaves my son’s back. I am a firm believer in picking your battles and being sure as hell to win the ones you choose. Therefore, he goes cloak less to school (so it doesn’t get ruined or peed on) and swimming lessons (so he doesn’t drown). Other than that the cape is fair game. I have limits and can only engage in epic warfare a couple times a day.
Imagine if you will a small face encircled in blond curls peeking from beneath a red hood. Now imagine this small face belongs to a little boy in the Star Wars toy aisle explaining all the characters and weapons to a woman he will only refer to as Princess Leia. He is totally oblivious to the many little snickers and stares from passerby. He is more than comfortable in his own skin and quite confident that he is a young man in the Jedi Order. Frankly, I envy his comfy and delightful world. Our little social experiment immediately exposes those with children over 5 (the ones laughing or giving me a knowing nod) and those without children (the ones giving me a ‘shame on you’ glare). What kind of mother allows her little boy to dress like a girl in public?
I think the better question is: How could I, as a mother, stifle the curiosity, creativity and spirit of a three year old? I most emphatically reply that I cannot and never shall!
Oh, and I also secretly enjoy being called Princess Leia! Why ruin that?
Friday, February 24, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
The Bible Tells Me So
My little Siren just turned two and my goodness does she have a whole lot to say. Not to brag or anything, but she already counts to ten, recites the ABCs and sings all the words to many songs. I know this isn’t all that exciting to other mothers with daughters, but I had The Kraken first who struggled to say much of anything by age two. I guess he was just too busy climbing and running and skipping and running and climbing and running to work on his language skills. I’m still trying to decide if I prefer listening to endless blabber or sprinting through the mall after a rouge toddler. Ahh, the difference between boys and girls.
My little chatterbox also has the uncanny ability to know the very moment when she is pushing a button with her brother or walking right along the line of good behavior and not so good behavior. Again, a skill many a-toddler has picked up along the way, but amusing none the less. For example, to instantly piss off her brother, The Siren will simply call The Kraken “Luke Skywalker.” The Kraken has recently decided that he is Anikan Skywalker. That small dig will begin a back and forth war that can last for hours. Luke! No Anikan! Luke! No Anikan! Uggg. I think I hate Star Wars.
Her most recent trick is to melt momma’s heart with a beautiful rendition of, “Jesus loves me this I know.” At some point she realized momma really enjoyed hearing her sing about Jesus. Here is the new version: “Jesus loves me this I know, For the Bible tells me POOP!” Cue insane laughter from both babies. I don’t think this delightful change in the lyrics is going away anytime soon, but hey, at least the kids are getting along!
I can’t wait to be pull aside by the nursery worker at church to explain this one . . .
My little chatterbox also has the uncanny ability to know the very moment when she is pushing a button with her brother or walking right along the line of good behavior and not so good behavior. Again, a skill many a-toddler has picked up along the way, but amusing none the less. For example, to instantly piss off her brother, The Siren will simply call The Kraken “Luke Skywalker.” The Kraken has recently decided that he is Anikan Skywalker. That small dig will begin a back and forth war that can last for hours. Luke! No Anikan! Luke! No Anikan! Uggg. I think I hate Star Wars.
Her most recent trick is to melt momma’s heart with a beautiful rendition of, “Jesus loves me this I know.” At some point she realized momma really enjoyed hearing her sing about Jesus. Here is the new version: “Jesus loves me this I know, For the Bible tells me POOP!” Cue insane laughter from both babies. I don’t think this delightful change in the lyrics is going away anytime soon, but hey, at least the kids are getting along!
I can’t wait to be pull aside by the nursery worker at church to explain this one . . .
Star Wars (Part 1)
My son is really into Star Wars. He and my husband bond a couple evenings a week over this epic battle of good versus evil. And even though I’m not sure the movie content is the best for a three year old brain to comprehend, I am very thankful my boys are spending quality man time together. (For the record, they don’t watch Anikan burn to a crisp in the lave pits then be rebuilt as Darth Vader as Padme goes through a very painful birth of twins then dies. That is one boundary I can draw. I am such a good momma!)
That being said, I never was prepared for the onslaught of questions that would assault me daily: Who is Count Dooku? What color is his light saber? Why was Anikan Skywalker a good guy then a bad guy with new name Darth Vader then back to good guy? Do Ewoks live on our moon? Can we visit the Degoba system? Will Darth Vader change his name back to Anikan? What do Yoda’s feet look like? Where did The Emperor get his powers? Do Ewoks bite? Does Yoda know he talks to Darth Sidious? If Yoda and Jar Jar Binks have a baby, what would it look like? By the time 7pm rolls around I hardly remember my own name let alone the planet on which I reside. I am so thankful there are only 5 movies from which he can pull his questions from. Whew. I’m exhausted.
The best question by far was witnessed by my brother, who I happened to be calling when The Kraken’s handsome little face looked at me and said, “Who is more powerful, God or Emperor Palpatine?” My brother answered the phone just in time to hear me so wittily answer, “Well, since God created Emperor Palpatine, God is more powerful.” That seemed to appease the beast for about 35 seconds. Just enough time to finish my phone call.
That being said, I never was prepared for the onslaught of questions that would assault me daily: Who is Count Dooku? What color is his light saber? Why was Anikan Skywalker a good guy then a bad guy with new name Darth Vader then back to good guy? Do Ewoks live on our moon? Can we visit the Degoba system? Will Darth Vader change his name back to Anikan? What do Yoda’s feet look like? Where did The Emperor get his powers? Do Ewoks bite? Does Yoda know he talks to Darth Sidious? If Yoda and Jar Jar Binks have a baby, what would it look like? By the time 7pm rolls around I hardly remember my own name let alone the planet on which I reside. I am so thankful there are only 5 movies from which he can pull his questions from. Whew. I’m exhausted.
The best question by far was witnessed by my brother, who I happened to be calling when The Kraken’s handsome little face looked at me and said, “Who is more powerful, God or Emperor Palpatine?” My brother answered the phone just in time to hear me so wittily answer, “Well, since God created Emperor Palpatine, God is more powerful.” That seemed to appease the beast for about 35 seconds. Just enough time to finish my phone call.
Monday, February 6, 2012
When in doubt, blame a cartoon princess
My son, my Kraken, enjoys the occasional movie. This is a new and exciting development. In the very recent past, getting The Kraken to sit still for longer than 25 seconds was a no go. Since exiting my womb this child hasn’t stopped moving. Frankly, I am mostly thankful he doesn’t turn into a tv zombie anytime it is turned on, but I do occasionally wish for just a couple minutes to cook dinner, do a load a laundry, make a phone call or sneak a cookie in the closet. Now, suddenly he will sit for small spurts of time to bond with one imaginary character or another. Hooray! Now if I could The Siren on the plan, I could pee in peace.
There are a few not so exciting things that come with watching cartoons. Let’s start with, “I’ll kill you, boy!” uttered in Aladdin, “Shut up you idiot!” shouted in Toy Story, “You’re a fool,” from some rendition of Cars and other choice words that aren’t really horrible but also aren’t all that awesome either. It can be slightly embarrassing when my beloved cherubs are going back and forth calling each other idiots while sitting in the shopping cart. The ever present judgment police do not approve of such filthy language. They may let you know or they may just shoot you with their dagger eyes. And even though neither of my babies really has any idea what they are saying, my bid for mother of the year is once again just a very silly dream.
A couple days ago my son, in the presence of his father, told me to “Buzz off!” My husband was understandably irate. I quickly jumped in and blamed the most recent Disney adventure we had watched. After a short discussion of why this isn’t the best way to speak to your mother, my husband let the issue drop. I was holding my breath most of the lecture hoping The Kraken wouldn’t decide to be a tattle tale. As it turns out, Rapunzel didn’t tell her adopted mother/ kidnapper to get lost. It seems my little boy’s momma has the potty mouth. We were having a tickle war, and I was totally joking. At any rate, I may owe a very dainty blond with a 100 foot long ponytail an apology.
There are a few not so exciting things that come with watching cartoons. Let’s start with, “I’ll kill you, boy!” uttered in Aladdin, “Shut up you idiot!” shouted in Toy Story, “You’re a fool,” from some rendition of Cars and other choice words that aren’t really horrible but also aren’t all that awesome either. It can be slightly embarrassing when my beloved cherubs are going back and forth calling each other idiots while sitting in the shopping cart. The ever present judgment police do not approve of such filthy language. They may let you know or they may just shoot you with their dagger eyes. And even though neither of my babies really has any idea what they are saying, my bid for mother of the year is once again just a very silly dream.
A couple days ago my son, in the presence of his father, told me to “Buzz off!” My husband was understandably irate. I quickly jumped in and blamed the most recent Disney adventure we had watched. After a short discussion of why this isn’t the best way to speak to your mother, my husband let the issue drop. I was holding my breath most of the lecture hoping The Kraken wouldn’t decide to be a tattle tale. As it turns out, Rapunzel didn’t tell her adopted mother/ kidnapper to get lost. It seems my little boy’s momma has the potty mouth. We were having a tickle war, and I was totally joking. At any rate, I may owe a very dainty blond with a 100 foot long ponytail an apology.
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