The Princess and the Potty

I very much dislike three things. Okay, sure there are many more than that but for right now while I am potty training my daughter, these three are really pissing me off: public restrooms, restrictive clothing and fancy dresses.

The first is obvious, public restrooms are generally dirty, soaking wet, a great place to be killed and not so kid friendly. But of course being a mom of two kids with tiny bladders, we are always in need of a potty stop and therefore a public restroom. Taking my son isn’t such a hassle really. Boys have it easy, point and shoot. If he misses he is just adding to the general splendor and aroma. No real harm done. However, there aren’t enough disinfecting wipes in this universe to make me feel warm and fuzzy about sitting my sweet innocent baby girl on a public toilet seat. Seriously, yuck. I cannot wait for the day she is tall enough to learn the hover method of public restroom safety, until then I am always packing Lysol spray and disinfecting wipes.

Secondly, I hate restrictive clothing. If you know me at all, you know that I live in my sweats. Now for the sake of my dignity and overall comfort of those around me, I generally get dressed when I leave the house, most of the time. (You can thank me later.). Either this condition is genetic or my beloved Kraken has learned well from his momma as he fights tooth and nail every morning for “soft pants.” And although there is nothing cuter than my baby in khakis, I cannot disagree in the comfort soft pants provide. They are also amazing during the potty training process. Creating a puddle just in front of the toilet because one of my babies couldn’t get the snap or zipper undone in time is not fun for anyone. Knowing she has to potty, communicating the need, reaching a toilet, cleaning said toilet and undoing her clothing in time is whole lot to ask of such a little girl.

Last but certainly not least, I hate dresses. I probably own three now, two I bought for weddings and one little black dress I was told every girl should own, which I admit is handy for my husband’s fancy work parties (though I often wonder how many times I can get away with wearing it). I always feel ridiculous, awkward and conspicuous in a dress, my least favorite feelings if I am honest. Either this condition is not genetic or my beloved Siren has not learned anything from her momma. My Siren is always fancy. She has 6 full length princess gowns which she cycles through each day. When I get dressed up it means I put on my dark jeans. The Siren however isn’t fully dressed without lace and toile and broaches. If I didn’t have the stretch marks to prove otherwise I would say the milkman dropped her off. Really it is quite adorable, except when she needs to use the facilities.

Can’t you just see us in the public restroom, me holding disinfectant spray and wipes, keeping my daughter steady on the toilet while attempting to keep her precious princess gown dry? And where is The Kraken? Gross.