My son, my Kraken, enjoys the occasional movie. This is a new and exciting development. In the very recent past, getting The Kraken to sit still for longer than 25 seconds was a no go. Since exiting my womb this child hasn’t stopped moving. Frankly, I am mostly thankful he doesn’t turn into a tv zombie anytime it is turned on, but I do occasionally wish for just a couple minutes to cook dinner, do a load a laundry, make a phone call or sneak a cookie in the closet. Now, suddenly he will sit for small spurts of time to bond with one imaginary character or another. Hooray! Now if I could The Siren on the plan, I could pee in peace.
There are a few not so exciting things that come with watching cartoons. Let’s start with, “I’ll kill you, boy!” uttered in Aladdin, “Shut up you idiot!” shouted in Toy Story, “You’re a fool,” from some rendition of Cars and other choice words that aren’t really horrible but also aren’t all that awesome either. It can be slightly embarrassing when my beloved cherubs are going back and forth calling each other idiots while sitting in the shopping cart. The ever present judgment police do not approve of such filthy language. They may let you know or they may just shoot you with their dagger eyes. And even though neither of my babies really has any idea what they are saying, my bid for mother of the year is once again just a very silly dream.
A couple days ago my son, in the presence of his father, told me to “Buzz off!” My husband was understandably irate. I quickly jumped in and blamed the most recent Disney adventure we had watched. After a short discussion of why this isn’t the best way to speak to your mother, my husband let the issue drop. I was holding my breath most of the lecture hoping The Kraken wouldn’t decide to be a tattle tale. As it turns out, Rapunzel didn’t tell her adopted mother/ kidnapper to get lost. It seems my little boy’s momma has the potty mouth. We were having a tickle war, and I was totally joking. At any rate, I may owe a very dainty blond with a 100 foot long ponytail an apology.
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