My son is addicted to his paci. He calls it his memaw. At least 4000 times a day he asks for the memaw. It's his symphony, his theme song of life. Unfortunately, sucking on a binky during English 101 is a tell tale sign that he will either be living at home forever or married to one crazy loony toon. So, it is up to the momma to end this addiction before the school bully pounces.
Knowing this task is not going to be pleasant, I sought out help from other moms with experience. Some negotiated release with a toy, some sent the plugs to children less fortunate, some took it away and wore earplugs . . . the suggestions were endless but only one really appealed to me (and my gutless "I don't want him to hate me forever" ways). A friend of mine cut a slit in the paddy mo causing it not to work correctly. Her daughter eventually just got bored with it and let to gather dust in the corner. Aha! I won't be the bad guy.
So that was the plan, but when I was going to carry out the deception was still up in the air . . . but then he dropped the darn thing during a long car ride and proceeding to scream his bloody head off. I was done. Over it. Today was the day.
I tucked my son in for naptime, handed him one sabotaged paci, placed the second one on his headboard and kissed him goodnight. All was quiet for about 30 seconds. Then the Kraken called out "Momma HELP." I walked in expecting tears, screaming and terror. What I got was an outstretched hand holding both ruined plugs as if handing me change from a purchase. Then he calmly said "Memaws broke. Go bye bye. New memaws please."
My heart was broken. What a cold hearted momma. All he wanted was a little comfort, and I broke his memaws.
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