Because we are Winners

I dragged my husband to a kid's Halloween party recently. The Kraken went dressed as a SWAT officer, which by the way I hope he doesn't choose as a profession (guns and violence and crazy people and busting in doors and . . . I might never sleep again). Rosie donned her cheerleading outfit, again not what I would choose for her (watching men hold my daughter in the air whilst copping a feel and looking up her skirt doesn't exactly make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside). My husband went as a disgruntled husband, and I dressed as an exhausted momma. Our costumes were spot on.

It really was a fun party, and that's saying quite a bit for the social anxiety nut job that I am. We sat with other moms during dinner. I don't think my shaking and sweating was too noticeable. We took a group picture. I didn't crap my pants. I met some new people and their kids. I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything so stupid that I couldn't recover. I walked the Kraken around to "trick or treat." And I didn't run away screaming. Like I said, it was a good party.

Toward the end of the night I began to clean up our dinner mess while my husband watched the kiddos. Suddenly, mid trash run, the baby was shoved into my arms and my husband disappeared. Annoyed, I continued pitching and recycling. A couple minutes later, one of the hostesses of the party presents me with a prize for "Best Boy Costume." I was very surprised by the award though I must admit my little SWAT officer was irresistible. I told my husband about it, and he was "shocked and happy".

Fast forward to the car ride home. "Hey hon," my husband begins. "Turns out I knew about the costume contest. I saw the prizes earlier and was watching the whole night for the judges to gather and decide the winners. I saw them congregated in the corner and did what I had to do to win." What exactly did he do? Once he ditched the baby, he picked up my son and plopped him directly in front of the judges. "That's what we do," he says. "We win."

So I think the real question I am left with is. . . Should I ban him from little league now or wait until he has a public breakdown when my son accidently runs the bases in the wrong direction?