My swagger wagon

I drive a minivan. It's one of those fancy minivans with all the bells and whistles, and, although we bought it used, I still feel a little snooty tooty driving it around. I'm not really sure why. Whenever I pull into the parking lot at a park or playdate there are at least 40 other vans exactly the same as mine: same make, model and color. At some point I may need to purchase a bumper sticker so mine kinda sticks out in the crowd. I was thinking about "Honk if you love Jesus," but I am a bit jumpy and have poor bladder control after two babies so . . . not such a good combination. I also appreciate "I slow for tailgaters." Maybe I should combine the two and have "Jesus loves you, now get off my ass." That might work.

My van also has driver and passenger seat warmers. I wasn't even aware of this feature until one afternoon I kept trying to make the AC colder and colder but couldn't stop sweating like a pig. At first I panicked. Could I be pregnant again? Not sure my husband would be all too thrilled with that announcement. That's when I noticed a tiny little light I never noticed before. AHA! Seat warmer. Whew.

I really enjoy my navigation system. Never really thought one was necessary for me. My husband, who gets lost in a paper bag, yes. Me, who generally has good sense of direction, not so much. But it has proven to be a very handy tool. I especially like the "avoid" feature where I can detour around a certain road or highway. Sometimes I like a little variety when traveling to the same park day after day after day. Maybe I want to take the second star to the right and go straight on til morning, or maybe today I would rather take a left on Cherry Tree Lane and circle around the back way. Gotta keep people guessing. I would modify this feature just slightly though. A couple days ago we were headed to a playdate and were running a bit late. I turned a corner and we came to a complete stop. Stuck in traffic. I went to my super cool "avoid" button, but alas, there wasn't an "avoid homecoming parade" option. I think I would add that. Could have saved me a bit of time.

Being sort of anti-TV, I wasn't thrilled that this van came equipped with a DVD player. However, I'm not going to lie. Sometimes it is nice to take a break from "mommy? mommy? mommy? mommy? mommy? mommy?" And on another positive note, if ever there is a contest for quoting Finding Nemo or UP from start to finish, I will win. Hands down. No contest. Don't even enter.

The best perk of "mommy's new car" has to be the automatic doors. When carrying a car seat complete with 16 pound Rosie, a diaper bag filled with anything and everything a baby and toddler could ever possibly need, holding a toddler's hand and balancing my must have coca cola classic on my head, the last thing I would be able to do is open the car door by myself. Heck, those bad boys will even open from across the parking lot, which helps with the "everyone has the same van as me and I don't have a bumper sticker yet" problem. Hooray for remote entry. Again I say Hooray.

On a sad note, my car doesn't automatically turn the lights on when it gets dark. Sounds really stupid, I know, but my last car did and apparently I became accustomed. So much so that I often forget to turn my lights on now. Yep, I am that girl. Who forgets to turn on their lights at night? Me. So if you see me scooting down the road, feel free to flash your lights at me as a reminder. Please, don't honk however. That will only make me believe that you love Jesus (good for you!) or make me wet myself (not so good for me).