Discipline

While sitting on the couch, my husband leaned oh so gently to his right and farted in my general direction. So, naturally, I punched his bum. I was promptly sent to timeout by my three-year-old. "Put your face in the corner. 1, 2, 3, . . . 13, 16, 19, 20. Come here momma. You no hit. You be nice. Go tell daddy 'sorry' right now!"

For snack this afternoon we stopped at Panera for a bagel and family time. Midway through The Kraken had to go potty started to get up from the table with daddy. Suddenly he stopped, pointed his chubby little finger in my face and said, "You no eat my food, momma. You eat it and you go sit in timeout in that corner by that strange man. Get it? No eat my food." As he walked to the bathroom he peeked over his shoulder a couple times to check on his beloved cinnamon crunch happiness. After peeing all over the wall, he came back to the table and asked, "You eat my food." No, I hadn't. "Tell the truth, please." Still, my answer was 'no'. It seems he believed me as I didn't have to spend 20 seconds sitting next to a stranger. Thank goodness.

I am the owner of a delightfully loud and equally mean Sun Conure who is living, for the time being, at Oppa's house. My dad took in my bird for the sole purpose of keeping all my children's fingers on their hands and not at the bottom of a bird cage. Thanks dad. The Kraken has been told close to a million times not to put his sweet puffy hands near the cage. This evening The Siren went dangerously close to the mouth of the beast. Using his fast fast fast speed he stopped The Siren police nightstick style with a block of wood he found earlier and immediately cherished. "Not good Rosie. Big bad hurt. Back up back up back up." (It seems I repeat everything in threes and may begin to write this way as well.)

Here's what I learned today: a#1 - The Kraken listens to what I say. Yes, I am also amazed by this revelation. b#2 - Some part of my son, no matter how small, does like his sister. Or at least her hands. Or maybe just wants to be the boss. Or maybe wants to smack people with his nightstick. (Ok so b#2 was a bit of a flop.) And last but not least c#4 - The timeout corner isn't really a terrible place to stand. You can see out the window into our 'yard'. I'm pretty sure I saw a bird eat a bee. Educational but not much for punishment.

My goals for tomorrow are to stay out of timeout and find a really boring horrible spot for timeout . . . maybe next to the dirty clothes hamper . . .