Don't look now, but I may have made some friends.

I’ve been avoiding this blog. I’m not sure why, well actually I do know why. Whatever. Here we go.

People terrify me. To the point of ridiculous amounts of sweat, intestinal distress, headaches, a poorly timed gag reflux and a barrier between the intelligent things I want to say and the senseless crap that comes out of my mouth. Generally, for the good of all mankind, I am medicated. However, the drugs that keep this loon under wraps are not good for pregnancy or a breast feeding mother, and thus I abstain.

So, when I signed up for a mom’s weekend away, I did so in a moment of pure insanity. I admit I never really thought I would actually go. I fully intended on flaking out. But my husband is really mean and supportive and forced me to live up to my word. What a jerk.

One of the ladies suggested that we carpool with someone. I prayed that no one would want to leave late so I could travel solo, but alas another mom had to work and graciously offered to pick me up on her way to the cabin. I had never met my chauffeur so when an unfamiliar SUV drove by my apartment, I waved, the driver waved back and I got in the car. I suppose I could have been murdered that evening since I was a bit more concerned about getting into the car without vomiting then I was to actually look at my new friend. Good thing Jesus loves me. I don’t remember much of the 2.5 hour car ride, which is a good sign. I must not have said anything too stupid because our conversation felt easy and natural. I do know that I sweat right through my shirt, and I am thankful I took some Pepto before leaving because there weren’t many places for emergency explosions.

Once at the cabin, I attempted my best to just blend in. For crying out loud, I certainly have some things in common with these girls. Right? Alcohol and I however do not blend well. I seem to do and say really silly things under the influence of half a glass of wine. On a mom’s weekend out though, it is really hard to ‘be one of the girls’ and not partake. So I had a glass of chocolate wine while playing a rowdy game of Pictionary. Anyone else with social anxiety is barfing at the thought of Pictionary with strangers, and I think if everyone had stopped talking for just a few seconds the entire table would have heard my heart beating. I sweat through yet another shirt, but I think night number 1 was a success.

The next day and afternoon, other than being a bit silly due to lack of sleep, was going fine. I was determined to keep a good attitude and try to make some friends. But then my first friend, formerly known as my chauffeur pulled out a game called Quelf. In my opinion this game should be called ‘How to cause panic and terrify anxiety ridden people.’ Case in point, the first card I drew required me to snort every time I laughed, FOR THE REST OF THE GAME. My husband would be proud because I got through it and even had fun. Thank goodness I only had to leave my chair once for a terribly embarrassing action card. Otherwise I may not have made it.

But I made it. I had fun. Actually, I had a great time. No medication required. So, thanks to Sara, Jen, Fawn, Rae, Stephanie and Mandy, for disregarding the sweat stains and awkward moments and accepting me as I come. Or maybe for at least talking about me behind my back!