At some point in time, whether at a lame ‘get to know your fellow co-workers’ office party or just after drooling through a spiderman movie (that's sarcasm folks), everyone is asked, “If you could have one super power, what would it be.” Some reply flying because it saves money on travel. Others say the power to heal themselves so they can live forever. Maybe super strength or ex-ray vision, super speed or pausing time, all seem pretty handy to me. I never could choose . . . until today.
If I had a super power I would want to be able to shock someone with my mind. Nothing like the electric chair shock or anything. More like a slightly souped up version of shuffling your feet through carpet then touching something metallic. This could prove very useful to my everyday existence. Take, for example, the college partyers in my apartment complex, 20 miles from the nearest college, who dwell across the sidewalk and up three floors from my bedroom window. Think how handy my shock could be at 3am when the perps decide screaming out on the veranda is a totally rad idea. Shock.
Or maybe the rude people in grocery store checkout lines that feel they need to rip into the cashier for ringing up the wrong price on pickles even though the computer decides the price. Shock. Is saving 21 cents worth ruining someone’s day? Shock you again. And what about the morons who curse in front of my children just because they are too into themselves to realize dropping the F-bomb in front of the Kraken isn’t ok. Shock. Like I said, a handy tool to have.
Perhaps I should befriend a healer though. Shocking a college partyer right off the balcony isn’t going to teach any lessons. I’m not trying to kill anyone after all. Just make them slightly uncomfortable for being stupid. Shock.
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